there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
