Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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