i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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