Pants 0. Shit 1.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
