I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just found a bag of teeth...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
