Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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