Is it normal to miss your booty call?
babies were throwing up all over the place
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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