If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Randomize
