if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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