and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
