yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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