JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
