You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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