Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
