How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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