you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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