I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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