omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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