I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
