I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
