I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Randomize
