I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
