Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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