I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
