And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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