im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
