omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
