The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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