i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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