she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
