I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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