Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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