I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
