I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
and you fell through a lawn chair
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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