how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
