I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
