i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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