So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
