i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
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