Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
