Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
