She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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