so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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