epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
