Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
