happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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