she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
