A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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