My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
