oh god the rape fog is back!
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
