spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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