wake up i wanna do it froggy style
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
