Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
